Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Top Ten Signs Your Newspaper is in Trouble

10. Covers all news that happens within one block of the office

9. Today's exclusive -- "Nixon Dead!"

8. Reporter sent to jail for refusing to divulge a source... Oh, and he also killed a dude

7. All horoscopes: "Now would be a good time to get out of the newspaper business"

6. Paper's motto: "Suck it"

5. Every "hot" gossip item is about Jack Klugman

4. Managing editor and guy who wheels around breakfast? Same guy

3. Under "Weather," it just reads "Yes"

2. Instead of "Garfield," has a comic strip called "Garfunkel"

1. It endorsed Dennis Kucinich

1 comment:

Nemesis of Evil said...

11) Your editor comes back to the office on May Day (last year) after getting a sandwich and seeing two Latina women working at the shop and says, "Guess this protest isn't happening."

12) For nearly two months your entire editorial staff consists of a reporter, an intern making 75 cents an hour, and a pregnant woman who regularly falls asleep at her desk.