Monday, December 21, 2009

Still preocuppied with 1995

Perhaps I'm feeling sentimental because it's Christmas, or maybe I'm just getting old, but there are a couple developments that came to my attention yesterday that I just can't get out of my head.

First, there's the second X Files movie, which came out last year but which I only just saw, for some reason. I have many problems with this movie, but the biggest one is the only one that really needs mentioning: THERE ARE NO ALIENS!!!! None! Not a one! Not even a hint of one! That was the whole point of the series, right? The whole plot of the movie is about a psychic priest and some Russian guys doing head transplants. Whoop-dee-doo. Sure, this could have been a great episode back in the days of the occasional one-off creepiness as a break from the usual alien-coverup plot line (Eugene Tombs, anyone?). But in a movie you expect something overwhelming, earth-cracking, a universe-splitting plot development or twist. Maybe the priest could have had a vision of Mulder's sister. Anything, really! Even just a hint that there might be some future movie that ACTUALLY HAS ALIENS!

Then there's this Madonna problem, which is somewhat more disturbing because of what it says about American womanhood. Take a look. Yes, that's Madonna. Yeah, it sorta-kinda looks like her, but not really, because she's had so much plastic surgery that she doesn't really look like herself any more! How does that happen when you have a bazillion dollars and can hire the best plastic surgeons in the world?

Now, this wouldn't be nearly so disturbing if she was merely famous and talented and old like, say, Sigourney Weaver, who is lovely and normal-looking and fabulous at age 60-- yes, 60! Maybe she's had some work done, but she looks like herself. But Madonna is an icon, and not an icon like in the Project Runway throwing-around-"fashion-icon"-like-it's-"make-it-work" kind of way. She is the biggest pop music star of all time (sorry Michael Jackson fans) and has butchered herself to the point where she looks half her age. She's not a porn star, or even a mere actress, she's the biggest thing ever! This is so unnecessary! And what is it supposed to mean for the rest of us? If we have successful, happy lives, but look older than 40, we're done?

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