Cubs look flat in win

This Cubs team is bad. Even in tonight's win (against one of the worst teams in baseball) they look like a group of guys who are already thinking about their plans for the All Star break. Note tonight's ninth inning, which began with two weak ground-outs and ended with "lead-off" hitter Correy Patterson swinging at a ball in the dirt.

This team has no bullpen (as evidenced by Friday night's choke), a fragile rotation and an offense spottier than a car windshield after a drive across a Minnesota interstate.

But at least they won, and so Sandberg the cat got to do his happy dance.

Is it just me, or is the news weirder than usual this week?

Woman who "found" finger in Wendy's chili is searched.
Jimmy Carter hosed by Bushies.
Warden's wife comes home after 11 years with escaped inmate.

And my pick for weirdest of the week, from Bay City News, a local wire service:

WOMAN ACCUSED OF DATING GIRLS GETS COMPETENCY EXAM

An 18-year-old woman accused of pretending to be twin 12-year-old
boys and simultaneously dating two adolescent girls will undergo a
psychiatric evaluation to determine her competency to stand trial in San
Mateo County Superior Court.
Lakesia Michelle Mason pleaded not guilty in March to 13 counts of
lewd acts upon a child under the age of 14 for her alleged relationships with
a 13-year-old girl and an 11-year-old girl.
She denied the special allegations of substantial sexual conduct
with a child under the age of 14 and allegations that the offenses were
committed in more than one jurisdiction and that the crimes were serious
felonies. Mason also pleaded not guilty to providing marijuana to a minor.
The alleged crimes took place in San Francisco and Daly City.
Today in court, Mason's defense attorney raised questions about
Mason's competency to stand trial for the alleged crimes.
According to the state penal code, a person cannot be tried or
punished for a crime while that person is mentally incompetent.
Superior Court Judge Craig Parsons today assigned Mason to undergo
a psychiatric evaluation by two court-appointed doctors. Criminal proceedings
against Mason are suspended pending the outcome of those reports.
According to Deputy District Attorney Elizabeth Raffaelli, the two
young girls involved in the case met Mason at a park. Mason befriended the
11-year-old and later introduced the girl's 13-year-old friend to her "twin''
brother. Mason then allegedly became involved with both girls.
Mason was arrested on Jan. 17 after the brother of the 13-year-old
saw his sister hugging Mason, who he thought was an older boy. Police soon
learned that Mason was a woman.
After charging Mason for her alleged relationship with the
13-year-old, the prosecution learned of Mason's alleged relationship with the
11-year-old.
Mason is scheduled to return to court for receipt of the doctor's
reports on May 6.

--Dwana Bain

Opening Day

While it's always nice to see the Cubs rip into somebody 16-6, I'm not going to base any predictions about the rest of the year on today's game. Javier Vazquez had nothing. not a little, but nothing. And if the offense was looking uncharacteristically good, Zambrano was looking uncharacteristically bad. His control was off and he got overcondifident, which one can be forgiven for doing when one has a seven-run lead. But the fit-throwing wasn't a good sign.

I fully expect the exact opposite in tomorrow's game: the Cubs will return to their weak-hitting ways which, combined with a Maddux start, will make it a virtual pitchers dual (though I'm thinking whoever's starting for AZ won't really have the tools to duel with Maddux).

Oh--I think I heard there was a basketball game today, too.

Arizona "Minutemen" take aim against illegals

This NPR piece from Friday is no joke. These armed citizens express their feelings about illegal crossings, including one who says Mexicans coming into the country cheapen her citizenship. She makes about as much sense as the folks who argue that gay marriage will somehow weaken straight marriages across the country.